Everywhere At The End Of Time
In 2019 Leyland Kirby A.K.A. The Caretaker released the final instalment of his musical masterpiece Everywhere At The End Of Time, a six-part project he describes as "dementia with sound."
When creating this body of work, Kirby was inspired by the ability of Alzheimer's patients to listen to music, recall songs from their past and use these sounds to remember places, people, moods and sensations associated with them. With this inspiration, Kirby uses old ballroom music, throughout the album, slowly distorting the songs until what once felt like familiar nostalgia is now without any relation to the listener, pulling away your associations from what you once knew.
With a run time of six and a half hours, it’s hard to put into words the true weight of impact this project holds, but I will offer my experience with the album that has shocked me like no other.
I discovered Everywhere in 2020 on a sombre late night, deep into a YouTube rabbit hole. I can't remember if it was the album artwork or title that took my attention first, it may have been both at the same time. I love artists who can create titles for their bodies of work that evoke a sense of curiosity and leave me with more questions about their meaning and relation. I especially enjoy titles that define feelings or thoughts I had experienced but had never had the right words to summarise.
This album was a perfect example, Kirby's acute choice of words doesn't just stop at the title of the album, his words translate further through the song titles and descriptions of the album's six stages. At times these words are beautiful and others horrifying, but each title aids the listener in a deeper understanding of what it may be like to live without your memory.
Kirby’s words are a slight push off the edge into the world of Alzheimer's. As you progress through the album each song becomes slightly more uncomfortable and the passing beauty of the earlier songs fades as you face the confronting reality of the disease.
I am yet to sit through the full body of work in one sitting or even two for that matter, that's how heavy of a listen it is, but this has never stopped me from finishing it each time. In the beginning, it is grand and warm, slow and calm, you think this isn't all that bad, but it slowly breaks you down. As you delve deeper into the album you feel more isolated, and more anxious as the lights start to dim, each song takes your hope further away from you, the familiar sounds become confusing and drawn out and they begin to feel colder.
Some songs suddenly end whilst others are just static noise, an audio sensation that represents a house with lights on, but no one is home. It becomes hard to make sense of what you are now experiencing, you're left uncomfortable up until the final song, R1 - Stage 6 Place in the World fades away. A chilling song that leaves you with tears in your eyes, which you would expect after a 6 hour experience of this kind.
For this series I have photographed my own visual depiction of the album. This series is dedicated to Stan and John.
Each image has been paired with The Caretaker's description for each stage of the album along with its track list. Songs with a '☆' are different compositions that I have enjoyed in different ways.
Stage 1 - (A+B)
Here we experience the first signs of memory loss.
This stage is most like a beautiful daydream.
The glory of old age and recollection.
The last of the great days.
A1 - It's just a burning memory ☆
A2 - We don't have many days
A3 - Late afternoon drifting ☆
A4 - Childishly fresh eyes
A5 - Slightly bewildered ☆
A6 - Things that are beautiful and transient ☆
B1 - All that follows is true
B2 - An autumnal equinox ☆
B3 - Quiet internal rebellions
B4 - The loves of my entire life
B5 - Into each others eyes
B6 - My heart will stop in joy ☆
Stage 2 - (C+D)
The second stage is the self realisation and awareness that something is wrong with a refusal to accept that. More effort is made to remember so memories can be more long form with a little more deterioration in quality. The overall personal mood is generally lower than the first stage and at a point before confusion starts setting in.
C1 - A losing battle is raging ☆
C2 - Misplaced in time
C3 - What does it matter how my heart breaks
C4 - Glimpses of hope in trying times
C5 - Surrendering to despair ☆
D1 - I still feel as though I am me ☆
D2 - Quiet dusk coming early ☆
D3 - Last moments of pure recall
D4 - Denial unravelling
D5 - The way ahead feels lonely ☆
Stage 3 - (E+F)
Here we are presented with some of the last coherent memories before confusion fully rolls in and the grey mists form and fade away. Finest moments have been remembered, the musical flow in places is more confused and tangled. As we progress some singular memories become more disturbed, isolated, broken and distant. These are the last embers of awareness before we enter the post awareness stages.
E1 - Back there Benjamin
E2 - And heart breaks
E3 - Hidden sea buried deep ☆
E4 - Libet's all joyful camaraderie
E5 - To the minimal great hidden ☆
E6 - Sublime beyond loss ☆
E7 - Bewildered in other eyes ☆
E8 - Long term dusk glimpses
F1 - Gradations of arms length
F2 - Drifting time misplaced ☆
F3 - Internal bewildered World
F4 - Burning despair does ache
F5 - Aching cavern without lucidity
F6 - An empty bliss beyond this World
F7 - Libet delay
F8 - Mournful camaraderie
Stage 4 - (G+H+I+J)
Post-Awareness Stage 4 is where serenity and the ability to recall singular memories gives way to confusions and horror. It's the beginning of an eventual process where all memories begin to become more fluid through entanglements, repetition and rupture.
G1 - Stage 4 Post Awareness Confusions
H1 - Stage 4 Post Awareness Confusions
I1 - Stage 4 Temporary Bliss State ☆
J1 - Stage 4 Post Awareness Confusions ☆
Stage 5 - (K+L+M+N)
Post-Awareness Stage 5 confusions and horror. More extreme entanglements, repetition and rupture can give way to calmer moments. The unfamiliar may sound and feel familiar. Time is often spent only in the moment leading to isolation.
K1 - Stage 5 Advanced plaque entanglements
L1 - Stage 5 Advanced plaque entanglements
M1 - Stage 5 Synapse retrogenesis
N1 - Stage 5 Sudden time regression into isolation
Stage 6 - (O+P+Q+R)
Post-Awareness Stage 6 is without description.
O1 - Stage 6 A confusion so thick you forget forgetting
P1 - Stage 6 A brutal bliss beyond this empty defeat
Q1 - Stage 6 Long decline is over
R1 - Stage 6 Place in the World fades away ☆